Simple Philosophy of My Son's Father About Their Relationship

A woman falls in love with a man first for his enduring love that he holds in his heart for the lady. I found my someone 'special' back in 2002.... a graceful man (who was a carefree boy then) who possessed the traits of being caring, nurturing, sensitive and sensible at the same time besides being good-looking. lolz. Obviously, I was on Cloud Nine to be someone's 'first priority'. 

Soon after, I got to dig up something more about his personality, when I stepped into the motherhood phase. He was always there to help me chase my dreams and to cheer me up on my little accomplishments when motherhood-guilt hit me hard and I wanted to give up on my ambitions. 

Year 2006

Fast forward to the phase at present, when this man has emerged as a responsible father to his pre-teen son; I see him being more than just a custodial parent rather a buddy somewhat older in age, who is consistently stimulating reasons of interactions for his introvert boy to be more vocal and expressive.

'A father should readily respond to the cries and needs of his child.' - we agree, but only to certain extent. The father-son relationship is a conscious process of connection; but he chose to mentor his little one through living the life in such a manner that could set an example for him to decide what to learn or unlearn without dictating plain theories. 

Well! in most families, the focus is on attachment of parents-children, as it directly influences child's development. But according to my husband, a state of over-attachment is unhealthy and has an unfavourable impact when you hold tight on your child. His ideology is to let your child struggle with age-appropriate challenges leading him to be self-reliant gradually.

My husband never misses to praise every incremental step of our son towards moving out into the world independently, however small it is. Because there is no better way to help boost your child's self-esteem through reassurance. 

A maturing adolescent son who sometimes feels low for varied reasons, be it his looks or his academic scores or his inability to be socially confident with strangers, needs his father's guidance to raise his level of self-acceptance. Actually my husband has evoked this courage in me now to start believing that our boy will do well in life with his determined approach that seemed really tough at a stage. With his father's trust in him, I witness my son becoming more of a modulated person in harmony with our limited means but our boundless hopes :)

Believe me, the presence of a father in any child's life is beyond the pay-cheque that he brings home. Every little move you make to create an environment at home for a well-knitted family puts some more fuel to keep the warmth of your family-bond sparked longer & the role of a father is certainly irreplaceable.  

Year 2018

This post is a part of a Father’s Day themed blog train where 24 bloggers have voiced their hearty feeling for their #SuperHero i.e. their fathers. Two of the talented Parenting and Lifestyle bloggers Priyanka Patwari of Flavors of World and Preety Tiwari of Delhi Blogger are the hosts of this blog train.

This train travelling through last station Mish Prima Donna of Shilpi has today stopped here. Thank you all for taking time to admire the beauty of my junction and let's get ready for another halt at panoramic station Panoramic Ripples of Aditi tomorrow morning.

Working Moms – Challenges and Solutions

Motherhood has always been the most celebrated feeling for all the women around the world. There is certainly a glory that this title brings along, but there are unfavourable challenges that are specific to 'working moms'. I still remember how dicey the situation had become when I had to decide whether to continue or sacrifice my job after my child was born. I knew if I had to resume my work, it would demands more on my effort, time, energy and resources to 'balance' work and family life. But I take pride to assert that I faced the situation and had been able to succeed.

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So based my experience, I'm sharing helpful tips on how working moms can deal with this dilemma and make their life easier without having to sacrifice their career or family-

1.) Raising Kids in Nuclear Family:
In good old times, when multigenerational or joint families were the norm of society, the elderly family members used to take care of children in the house in the absence of parents. But over the past years with increasing number of only two-parent families, the mothers are expected to take a career break and be around children to for their physical growth and mental development.
You can always enroll your school-going child to a certified day-care centre that ensures providing safe and healthy environment for him after school hours. For a younger baby, a trustworthy in-house babysitter may take care of baby while the mommy works.

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2.) Tackling Sick Children
As an extension to nuclear family concerns, most working moms feel alarmed of the possibility of their children getting sick (I really do). Because the responsibility of taking care for sick children usually falls on the mother. The situation to settle on either an inflexible professional schedule or a parental obligation brings the victim to a meltdown mode.

The best game plan to pull through this tricky situation is to prevent child’s illness. It’s customary for many parents to ignore initial warning sign of an upcoming illness and hope it won’t last. But if you’re aware of usual symptoms or causes of your child’s sickness, make a prior arrangement to nip the problem in the bud. My child is a mosquito magnet – so I use repellents like liquid vaporiser inside my home but my biggest worry is when he is outdoors – be it school or evening playtime especially because dengue mosquitoes bite in the daytime. I’ve now resorted to the protection of Good knight Fabric Roll-On to avoid exposure to icky mosquitoes. Just following a simple regime of applying four dots of all-natural product on my child’s clothes whenever he steps out for school or play has rescued me from panicky time.

It also makes a difference to make minor lifestyle changes including diet, clothing, outing time etc when it’s the time of year when it’s more probable for your child to fall ill. On a motherly note, try co-ordinating with an understanding colleague and do tell yourself “this is just life in the moment, let me spend the day with apple of my eye”.

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3.) Running Late of Schedule
Nothing adds to the stress of mommy if something doesn't go as planned in the beginning of the day. The uncertainty of the morning routine puts you in situation where unanticipated problems arise and leave you frustrated and dejected.
Preparing ahead of time is the key. Carefully look over the next day's to-do list a night prior and divide the schedule. It's better to decide priorities of the day and delegate few chores to your spouse. Marking important dates on calendar or setting a reminder on your smart device will let you start your day on calm note without missing any relevant event especially when it's related to your child's school.

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4.) Professional Competence
Despite the claims of companies to offer compatible work conditions for females, many mothers are not given key roles and are looked down upon if they demand for flexible working hours for themselves. It induces a feeling of lower self-esteem and low confidence in most women.
Do not be hesitant to forward a written plan to your company's HR team requesting them to adjust your schedule in a way that you may complete the required weekly working hours in a flexible manner. It will reinforce faith of employer for you if you may present the company with a substitute/alternate to compensate your responsibilities in case of emergency.

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5.) Mommy Guilt
Women have a right to have a career the way men do and they should be proud that they are capable of multitasking. But if you've chosen your career over your family or child, the creepy feeling of being away from your child may strike you any time. There can be infinite reasons for a mommy to feel guilty for not being a 'perfect' parent. At times, these feelings are subject to societal idealisation of motherhood.
Pause before you react. Give yourself a moment before you curse yourself of the worst guilt-inducing moments. Think of your contribution in fulfilling your child's needs by going to work. Find practical solution that may spare you some time to make good memories with family and children. Lastly, remind yourself that feeling guilty is actually a sign that you truly care for your child.

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6.) Communication Gap with Partner/Family
Living your choices amidst everyday chaos severely affects relationship between the couple and the implications of the situation might be to different extent. Many a times, marital relationship is strained due to lack of time or excessive fatigue, especially when both partners have long working hours or when the male partner poses a hands-off approach in sharing household responsibilities.
To tackle this very important yet less-acknowledged issue, both the partners must agree to consciously make an effort to get closer to each other despite an exhaustive schedule. It takes only a few moments every day to focus on keeping your marriage happy.

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There are many more obligations, work commitments and family matters than ever before that every working mom is juggling with. It might be hard to maintained sanity with life continually getting busier, but I'm sure these simple tips would help mighty mommy increase the harmony in her home..

Happy Parenting!!

Baby Skin Care Basics

'Baby Soft Skin' is what we refer to when talking about pampered and cared skin. The skin of a baby is as pure as your love. I remember how much I enjoyed rubbing my cheeks to my baby's soft cheeks. But at the same time, I was afraid not to irritate or hurt him. I always took extra care for keeping his skin buttery soft, and followed quite practical tips given by elders in my family ...

Baby Bathing:
Bathing my baby had been equally enjoyable time for me n my boy. I had been really considerate about the temperature of water used for bathing him. My mom-in-law recommended me not to use any baby cleansers in his initial months, because his immune system was still developing. Another care to be taken with baby's bathing routine had been to resist the urge to bathe him very frequently as too much bathing would chip away natural oils from his skin that are essential to protect softness of baby's skin.

Baby Massage:
The time that you do all the fun with your baby is the massage time. I truly treasure those uplifting moments when I could look into his eyes filled with love and felt closer to him day by day while giving him massage. The skin-to-skin touch therapy in rhythmic strokes worked wonder to keep him smiling at me all the time and made me feel more empowered as a mom. The payoff of every massage session resulted in his calm, less cranky behaviour and also maintained the suppleness of his soft skin. Remember to choose an ayurvedic, odorless massage oil for your infant.

Clothing Care:
Its a trend in my family to wash new clothes before they are worn, so it was followed for my newborn as well. There have been several friends and relative who gifted beautiful clothes for my baby and many of them wished to make the baby wear their gifted clothes in their presence. But I had been polite to them conveying my plea that we need to wash those clothes in special fragrance free, skin- friendly detergent to avoid any allergens affect my baby's skin.

Outside Excursion Care:
When your baby is around 12 months or so and is ready to see the world around crawling outside the set boundaries, its our job to watch out for the weather. I used to layer my baby with covered clothes and kept some sunscreen with inorganic filters handy that could be used occasionally, if exposure to sun can't be avoided. Moisturize the skin well in time.

Diapering Basics:
Be mindful of a gentle diapering routine for your little one, so that it doesn't teases him every time he needs a change. Never go for cheap quality diapers because they will be in direct contact with your baby skin for quite long and there is great chance of skin-rashes. I chose something as effective and protective as Pampers Dry Pants that kept my little one's skin dry by locking in the wetness due to its Magic Gel technology and proved to be #SoftestForBabySkin. Also be careful to clean your baby's bottom thoroughly and apply a good diaper cream, if required.

There are many more tips I want to share with you all, but will wind it up here and wait for yet another post to cover some more..

Happy Parenting!

Pampers brings you the softest ever Pampers Premium Care Pants. Its cotton-like softness is #SoftestForBabySkin and allows it to breathe, thus keeping baby’s skin soft and healthy, and your baby happy.

Rakhi Bhai Behan Ka Tyohaar

I may not say it always, but whenever I say I mean it ...

"The memories may fade with passing time, but the bond we share will only grow stronger.." 

Writing for #selfiewithsibling contest by Jabong.com made me say above lines again to my bro.

The loving occasion of Raksha Bandhan is actually the best time to reminisce fondly those wonderful moments I have spent with my siblings. Because despite being many many years younger to me, he is the one who holds my lowered spirits in bad times. When I have a reason to smile and celebrate, I message him first of all and he is readily available to make it more meaningful.

But yes, we are no exception and can't end up without hate moments too. He is pissed off so easily when I comment something 'not likable' on his social accounts and he grumbles for having an 'interfering' elder sister.... He finds it irritating when I advise him not to be an impulsive buyer and make choices within specific budget.... He thinks I am old-fashioned if I'm offended seeing him clicked with female classmates...He puts a full-stop on our conversation saying "Not Again", when I wish to motivate him to give more time to studies and work harder... He gives me furious looks if I am spying on his phone...Gosh!! should I write all this here!! I know he won't spare me today after he reads this post but I actually wanna see his reaction ;) {Hope God is there to save me :P }

Even when life has led us along different paths now, we are always close looking out for each other (thanks to some awesome phone apps too) ... He really has the virtuosity to beautify my life. He laughs at my funny selfies, edits them making me look fairer and then asks me for a "Thank You" that I never say ;) He keeps me updated with latest technology hacks and makes sure the path I am travelling on as a blogger is smooth n guided. I know deep in my heart who will come to my rescue when no one offers me a helping hand. 

Though I don't need an occasion to show my gratefulness to him but every moment of my life is a blessing to have a 'monster' around me who possesses a clear heart. Even if I searched the world over, there cannot be a better brother than him. And Raksha Bandhan is the day when we deserve clicking #selfiewithsibling and capturing one more such moment of happiness :)

I wish my bro all the happiness and loads of success through every side in his life!!

I Have Learnt To Live With Pride Now

I flip back a chapter of my life today to tell you the story of a low-confidence gal. I was not the same confident personality by birth. By the grace of God, I was blessed with physical fitness, but still I had a negative image of myself in my mind. This is the first time that I am openly accepting the fact that most of the time I used to refrain myself from doing a thing just because I had a sound echoing in my subconscious mind "I cannot excel in this and its not meant for me.." The constant feeling of comparing myself with everyone else in a negative way and then putting myself low had become a psychological stress that I was battling with ...This silent disease of my thoughts caused low self-esteem in me which in turn hindered my academic and social functioning to a greater extent (for which I am actually repenting till date).

Though its my only public confession here, it doesn't mean that nobody could notice my behavioural pattern that time. I never knew that I was under the scanner of those observant eyes most of the time; the eyes of a affectionate and concerned dad. I heard my dad talking about of challenges of his early life and the trial-plus-success instances he had undergone. It was his way of injecting the fuel of self-assurance in me to keep me high-spirited. He prompted me to engage myself in activities in which I had been more proficient at home as well as school and neighbourhood so that a sense of achievement pierce in me to blow away my apprehensions. He himself acted in the best possible manner to make me learn new things by imitating him and also taught me to learn from mistakes, admit my weaknesses and work on them to turn them into my strengths. There were incidents when teachers, friends and family members noticed remarkable changes in my attitude towards life. 

The struggle had not ended so easily, because stepping in adolescence gave me yet another reason to confine myself due to my fright of interacting with opposite gender. Dad was still there with his courageous words and practical advice for raising me into a confident person. As a trustworthy friend, he portrayed in front of me, an image of a girl who deserves all good things and can succeed in life without merciful advantages in her baggage. He demonstrated the appropriate manner to express myself and cautioned me not to explode with whatever is stuffed in my head-n-heart without striking a balance between various factors underlying in the situation. As some more maturity set in my personality, I eventually was able to open the tight lid suffocating my inner self and emerged as a well-behaved, bubbling with energy, brimming with confidence and responsible woman attributed to win over the toughest hurdles and living life without being dependent on others. 

The person whom you see in the pic below is the one who deserves the title of my Motivational Guru and so I take privilege to voice my feelings for #MyFamilyMyPride that -

"Apno Ko Apne Dum Par Jeena Sikhao, 

Aur Duniya Ke Liye Misaal Ban Jao" 

I hope many of you would be able to relate to my story.. but don't forget to watch this touching video by HDFCLife of a lovely dad-daughter duo like me n my dad :) :) 

 This post is exclusively written for Indiblogger's #IndiHappyHour #MyFamilyMyPride campaign in association with HDFCLife.